What would you do if everyday you dreaded waking up every morning. That every action you did during the day absolutely exhausted you. Even simple things like hanging out with a friend, was really a big event like something you had to prepare yourself for.
It's kind of my life every day. It's hard to keep on going when you're exhausted over the little things. What will the bigger things do to me when I get to them if I can barely handle what I have now? I always get sad at the thought of the future, which in turn is just a vicious cycle because I get sad that I'm sad! I want to feel excited about life, and I want to be excited to wake up everyday. I want to enjoy the crisp air. Hell I want to feel accomplished after doing something! I'm not even looking for instant gratification. I want to know that I'm apart of something bigger. That my efforts are not in vain.
I guess you could say everyone wants to feel that.
But what you want to feel, and what you are feeling, are always completely different things.
There are two different types of people when it comes to darker situations. The people who have been through it, and the people who have not. Once you have been through that situation you have a different view of the whole event, and are able to approach it with a completely changed point of view. The people who haven't been through it aren't able to fully understand, and therefore, are sort of left in the dark.
When it comes to the people who are supposed to support you, it's easier if the person understands the situation. There are certain bonds, and ways of being a kindred spirit that link you together. It's harder for those who haven't. They don't understand the gravity of the situation in your eyes. From that things can go wrong. Careless words can be said without actually meaning them harshly, but the person who needs the comfort will feel it like a bullet to the head. It's a bit of a friend's duty to explain the impact, but it's also a bit of the sayer's duty to be a little bit more conscious about their words.
I've been lucky, and I think I take that for granted a lot of the time. I have pools of support. While I may have experienced a sort of emotional barrier with friends before, and I know I will feel it in the future... Talking it out sort of makes it better, or easier to explain things.
The world can't know what you're thinking or feeling until you tell it in simple words.
I think it's a lesson we all have to learn, and continue to try and keep up learning about otherwise we get left in the dust and we forget about it.
Yay another uncensored-thought-streaming-blog-post!
By the way, I'll post tomorrow about my trip to Niagara University to see a postsecret.com event!
