this is my new mantra

I haven't been doing too many blog posts simply cause there hasn't been much to report. Even though that's kind of a lie. This week has been pretty big for me. I'm starting driving lessons this week, and I'm actually getting help for my dysthymia! This is just a big change in my life, and I am really happy about it. See that... Happy. A five letter word I rarely ever actually feel! But I feel it now, and boy I think it's not just cause of that, but damn well it's cause of music. Fuck yeah, it's cause of music!

Bif Naked's I Love Myself Today

I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you is like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes

I've had enough. Made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!

I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now

I'm going to play it TWICE every day. Once in the morning when I wake up to get me ready for the day, and at night to make me pumped up that I had an awesome day. I also don't really consider the idea of 'being with you was like a hangman's noose' as being with a boy but rather my attitude, my beliefs, my sadness, the dark part of me that I know will always be with me, but needs to be ignored more often!

It's pumped me up, and I think it gave me the epiphany! THE epiphany. The one that I've kind of been waiting for. I don't know where this is going to take me, and I don't know how long it's going to last, but fuck it, I'M HAPPY!

TIME FOR SLEEP SO I CAN BE AWAKE AT A STUPID HOUR IN THE MORNING FOR IN CLASS DRIVING LESSONS.

(no one was high in the making of this post, i swear)