i as i, not as we

December 17th, 2010 at 1pm Ruby Irene Farkas passed away in her sleep.

It was a half hour after I left the hospital with my Poppa, Uncles and Aunt. She was holding my mom's hand. Gave a tight squeeze, and then a deep breath in, and then exhaled and passed.



My Nana. She is the best Nana a person could have. She watched me grow up and showed me how to become the person I am today. Even through my mistakes she’s always accepted me and brought me back into those loving arms of hers.

I remember every day in the summer when we were kids she’d take my sister and I while my parents worked and took us to the pool made us lunch (Nana Tomato Sandwiches and Poppa Cucumber Salad are by far the best lunch a kid could ever have) – clearly this woman was a glutton for punishment by taking the two of us every day. However, she did have my mom, aunt and uncle so really we were probably a cake walk for her. She put everyone in front of herself. I’m going to miss talking about what to make for dinner as we eat breakfast. I’m going to miss the Ruby-Groove. I’m going to miss hearing about her winning at the casino or bingo. I’m going to miss watching Gossip Girl with her – oh yeah, she watched it with me and loved it.

There is one part of a song I think would work best. Not just from me to her, but I like to think from her to all of us too.

“To think I might not see those eyes,
makes it so hard not to cry.
And as we say our long goodbye, I nearly did.
Light up, as if you have a choice,
even if you cannot hear my voice,
I’ll be right beside you dear. “

I will always think of my Nana when I listen to Run by Snow Patrol.

What I find comforting is that so many people have been touched by her. There is no possible way that she will ever be forgotten. She was, is, and will constantly be a force in my life. No matter the situation. I am truly honoured to say that I am the first grand-daughter of Ruby Irene Farkas. I am viciously proud to say that she was my grand-mother – my perfect and amazing nana.



I truly do not know how I'm going to handle this. I miss her so much it hurts. My Poppa isn't doing too well either. I haven't left his side since we got the news yesterday.

The visitation is on Tuesday, what would've been her 74th birthday. Monday, my mom and I are going to go out and get some clothes for it. I really would like to wear a skirt cause I know she always wanted me to dress nice. I want to look really good for her. I'll wear heels too.

Tomorrow I'm going to do breakfast with a friend, and then see Tron in IMAX3D as well as some xmas shopping so we'll see how it goes.